Through A Window
by SableShadow
Summary: One-shot. Song-fic. Jacob's POV. Jacob returns after running off on the night of Bella's wedding and sees Edward bite her. "I must be crazy to come here... She’s not a part of my life anymore, yet I still torture myself with memories of her..."


Disclaimer: I in no way own anything remotely related to the Twilight world and am definetely not Stephenie Meyer and I did this because I was extremely and incredibly bored. I also in no way own the song, the song is by Evanescence.

If anyone is willing to edit this for me I would really appreciate it. This is my first attempt at writing anything resembling a song-fic and my second attempt at fanfic.

I really want to know the truth about my writing so if you think it sucks then please tell me.

Please Review.

P.s I mentioned this in my other story but I'm from Australia so some of my grammer and spellings will be different to America.

P.p.s If you find a typo please tell me.

* * *

Through a Window

I must be crazy to come here. I despised this place, but I instinctively knew that she would be here. She's not a part of my life anymore, yet I still torture myself with memories of her. Her eyes. Her lips. Her smile. Her blush. And the way she truly kissed me that one time.

If my dad or anyone else in the Pack saw me now, they wouldn't recognise me. My black hair was knotted and various leaves and dead insects were caught in the tangles like flies in a spider web. The only thing I wore on this unusually chilly night was a pair of mud-caked torn shorts that even a homeless person would discard. My body was battered and bruised, the result of spending weeks in the wilderness with nothing and no one.

Tonight was the first night since I had run off that I had changed back into my human form. And the first time I had set foot anywhere near Forks. As a wolf, I was free. I could expand my senses enough so that I didn't have to think, and the only things rushing through my mind would be details of my surroundings. I had opted to change back and approach this town on foot, something I had deeply regretted.

The memories I had suppressed for weeks had come rushing into my mind with such intensity that it caused actual physical pain. But I couldn't stop myself from wanting to remember her, wishing I could be with her, wishing I could have her, but knowing that she belonged to that leech.

I surrendered myself to my memories of her willingly.

The small puddle of water near my feet showed a look in my eyes that chilled even me to the core. I looked into them, and saw nothing. Just a terrible blankness that was infinitely more lonely than the emptiest regions of space.

I absently noticed the white folded chairs leaning against the garage wall. When I saw the lavishly decorated car parked next to the garage, I felt my heart skip a beat. I mentally cursed myself for not counting the days and my mind flicked back to the date on the invitation. August 13th. Today was August 13th. The day that my Bella would marry that bloodsucking leech.

I looked up at the clear night sky, a rare occurrence in the town of Forks, and realised, from the positions of the moon and stars, that it was close to midnight. Bella would already be married.

That fact pushed all other thoughts out of my head. I didn't wonder as to the implications that only one light was on in the whole house.

I launched myself into the tree closest to the window with the light on, and perched unsteadily on a thin branch. What I saw made my heart stop.

Bella was on a large expensive-looking bed, eyes closed, trust evident on her face. The bloodsucker hovered over her, murmured a question too soft for me to hear, to which Bella replied with a small nod. He hesitated, as if unsure, then slowly brought his lips to her exposed throat. He opened his jaw, sharp teeth hovering millimetres from her throat, pausing for a moment.

Then in one fluid motion, he sank his teeth into her pale throat, piercing her thin translucent skin.

That was when I completely flipped.

All my werewolf instincts kicked in, overriding my rational brain that was desperately pleading for me to think logically and consider all the possibilities.

The only possibility clear to me was that the filthy bloodsucker was attacking and draining the life out of a human, and not just any human, but my Bella.

I growled, not even realising that I had phased, and leapt through the glass window, breaking it.

I turned around, glancing at Bella's pain-filled writhing body and the bloodsucker's anguished eyes. Another growl escaped my lips as my gaze fixed upon Bella's blood still staining the filthy bloodsucker's lips. I was just about to rip him to pieces when he spoke quietly.

"Wait, I don't care if you kill me, I just don't want Bella to get hurt."

My eyes turned towards the fragile girl lying on the expansive bed. She was thrashing about on the bed, whimpering, an occasional muffled scream escaping her tightly clenched jaw. It broke my heart to see her in pain.

This can't be happening. I screwed my eyes shut, refusing to watch her in pain, and shoved my head under my paws. How could he say he cared for Bella when he was the reason that she was now in so much pain?

_Liar. _Filthy bloodsucking _liar_.

_How can I pretend that I don't see_

_What you hide so carelessly?_

_I saw her bleed_

_You heard me breathe_

_And I froze inside myself_

_And turned away_

_I must be dreaming_

This can't be real. If there ever was a God, he wouldn't let this happen. Not to her. Not to Bella.

I picked myself up from the floor, momentarily forgetting the leech, and trotted over to Bella's side. All her muscles were tightly clenched and her back arched up as her pained-sob filled the small room. Sadness consumed me and I used my nose to gently nudge a stray strand of hair from her face.

The bloodsucker was suddenly in front of me, on the other side of Bella, body tensed in a half-crouch, lips pulled back, teeth bared, a low growl emanating from deep in his throat.

At that moment I knew that one of us was going to die tonight.

We both froze as soft words cut through the tension in the room.

"Ed-ward, i-it hu-rts so m-much."

Those words tore through me, ripping my insides to shreds. She was hurting so much and I could do nothing to help her. And she didn't even know I was here.

How could he hurt such a sweet and innocent girl? How could Bella love someone who could hurt her so much? Nothing could condone the pain he caused her, was still causing her.

He was the worst kind of monster.

_We all live_

_We all die_

_That does not begin to justify you_

I watched as he moved closer to her. My body tensed, ready to spring if he dare lay a finger on her. I watched in growing confusion and surprise as he gently cradled her, murmuring soft words of comfort in between her muffled screams.

She visibly calmed, her trembling subsided. She took comfort in his protective arms and murmured his name once more. Even I could see from his and Bella's body language that they cared about each other deeply and loved each other.

Another wave of pain lanced through my heart.

After I sorted through all the confusion, anger, pain, and hurt inside my head, another thought pushed itself to the foremost of my mind.

I hadn't actually thought of anything else other than the fact that Bella was in pain. And that the bloodsucker had caused her pain. I hadn't paused to consider _why_ she was in pain.

She was changing. The venom that was spreading through her veins was changing her, making her something different. Her soft pale skin was going to harden and become like marble, her skin becoming even paler, and she would be as cold as ice. She would never again blush when she was angry or embarrassed. And her heart would stop, forever. She would crave blood, and be a slave to her own thirst for all eternity.

I knew this would happen, I'd mentally prepared myself for this to happen, but it was still a shock. In the back of my mind I'd always hoped that for some reason she would change her mind. That she would decide not to become a vampire and would stay human so she could live out the rest of her life. I'd hoped that she'd decide to live it out with me, but I would have been content for her to just stay human.

Becoming a vampire, it was a fate worse than death.

But I did not want her to die.

_No_. No, no, no, no, no. This could not be happening. She simply cannot be changing into a vampire _right at this moment_.

This cannot be real; this has to be some sort of sick twisted nightmare.

_It's not what it seems_

_Not what you think_

_No I must be dreaming_

_It's only in my mind_

_Not in real life_

_No I must be dreaming_

A million images ran through my mind. Images of her as a vampire. Cold, with vivid red eyes. Sinking her teeth into the neck of a struggling animal.

I panicked.

What the hell what I supposed to do? Do I stay with her? Do I leave her here with that bloodsucker? Should I try to take her away? If I did, then what?

An image of Sam swam into my mind. Sam. Cool, level-headed Sam. He would help me sort this out. He would make everything better. Although the treaty was the last thing on my mind, I realised that it had been broken.

_Help you know I've got to tell someone_

_Tell them what I know you've done_

_I fear you but spoken fears can come true_

I was just about to bolt when a quiet male voice stopped me.

"Wait. Running to Sam wouldn't help matters. We'll all leave once this is over, but Bella requested that we stay in Forks for another week. She really cares about you. Although she hasn't said it, I can tell that a part of her heart will always belong to you. You have no idea just how jealous that makes me feel. You've had moments with her that I would give anything to have experienced. You were there for her when I make the biggest mistake of my existence, and at other times when she needed it. You cared for her, looked after her, and for that I thank you.

"Did you know she waited for you? When we heard that you'd disappeared, she was frantic. She was blaming herself and was going to go look for you. Billy convinced her to stay and told her that you'd come home when the time was right. And Sam forbid the whole Pack from phasing so that you'd have time alone.

"When I admitted to her that I'd invited you to the wedding, she waited for you. She hoped that y'd attend the wedding or at least return before it. That's why she wanted to stay longer in Forks. A part of her loves you, and most likely forever will." His voice trailed off, his face solemn.

I knew somehow that he was telling the truth, even though I trusted him as much as the chance that I would end up a famous astronaut and fly off into space.

He shifted, repositioning Bella. His tormented eyes looked at her with love and sadness. Her cries of pain had momentarily become quiet and empty sobs, although her body was still writhing as wave after wave of pain flowed through her.

He turned his face towards her and hummed a soft hauntingly sweet tune.

Bella had told me she wanted this, wanted to be with him forever, but I still could not comprehend how he could bear the knowledge that he had caused her this pain. I knew that if I were him, although the thought of that made me cringe, I could never do that to sweet innocent Bella.

It was selfish of him to want to keep her forever. And everything natural is meant to, one day, come to an end. But nothing about him was natural.

_We all live_

_We all die_

_That does not begin to justify you_

I managed to calm myself down enough to phase back. Embarrassment at my complete lack of clothing didn't even register in my mind as I moved closer to Bella.

The bloodsucker tensed, but made no move to stop me. She didn't seem to be conscious, for which I was grateful. She didn't deserve to suffer through all this pain.

I reached out once more to her, hesitantly, but this time with my hand. The leech looked like he wanted to tear my arm off, but still he restrained himself.

I brushed away another loose strand of hair that had fallen during her pained movements and lightly brushed my fingertips over her cheekbone. Her skin was clammy and cooler than usual. This upset me, and I withdrew my hand.

She stirred slightly, as if she'd felt my touch. Her eyes opened for the time since all this had started.

Her eyes took a moment to focus on me, then her forehead creased, surprise flickering across her face before she grimaced and cried out as pain flooded every inch of her body.

"J-Jacob?"

My name on her lips sent a shiver of pleasure through me, despite the unpleasant circumstances.

"Bella, what is it?"

"Y-you came b-back." She smiled briefly before the pain regained control of her features once more.

"Yes Bella, I came back."

"Still f-friends, 'kay?" She spoke those few words before she drifted into unconsciousness once again.

"Still friends." My words came out as a quiet whisper.

I wished deeply that this wasn't happening, but whatever higher power out there refused to grant my desperate wish.

_It's not what it seems_

_Not what you think_

_No I must be dreaming_

_It's only in my mind_

_Not in real life_

_No I must be dreaming_

I closed my eyes, imagining all the good times I spent with Bella. That first day on the beach when I tried to scare her with the Quileute legends. Us in the garage, fixing the motorbikes, sipping warm sodas. Her acceptance after the misunderstanding when she worked out, from what I told her, that I was a werewolf. The kiss, and when she admitted that she loved me.

I hoped against hope that I was back in those moments, that the present didn't exist. I chuckled darkly and opened my eyes, knowing that I couldn't linger forever in the past.

I noticed the leech staring at the broken window, and the night beyond, intently. I phased into a wolf and immediately recognised the various scents.

The rest of the Cullens were here.

"You should go. My family's here. If you're hurt, it would hurt Bella as well."

I realised the logic in this, and I was happy that he admitted Bella cared for me, but I was past logic at this point. Who really cares if I survive the night?

I heard the door open downstairs and a moment later, the small black-haired female and the tall blond male appeared in the doorway.

The male immediately sank into a half-crouch but the female remained calm.

"Jacob." She said stiffly but politely. She walked quickly to Bella and the male trailed behind her protectively.

They stared at each other, and Bella's bloodsucker seemed to be having a one-way conversation. I realised that she must have been talking with her mind.

"She's fine… It's alright, nothing bad happened… Don't think like that… It's not your fault… Less than an hour… She's been unconscious half the time… Don't worry, I am glad they didn't come. It's awkward enough as it is… Thank you." The last part was whispered quietly and it seemed as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

I realised that the other leeches in the family supported Bella becoming a vampire. The female bloodsucker, I couldn't remember her name, Bella thought a friend and I couldn't believe that the leech would willing put her through this experience.

My hatred for the bloodsuckers bubbled to the surface once more.

_We all live_

_We all die_

_That does not begin to justify you_

I realised that my anger wasn't helping things, so I did everything I could to contain it. I noticed with relief that Bella was still unconsciousness, a small mercy.

All was quiet in the room, the only sound Bella's ragged and uneven breaths. An eerily calm had settled over the spacious room.

For the umpteenth time, I wished there was no such thing as monsters in the world. If that were true, all the bloodsuckers in the room would have died a long time ago. I wouldn't be a monster. Bella wouldn't be turning into one. And we would have been happy together.

I knew that, had we both been human and the world monster-free, we would have fallen in love and lived happy human lives.

The world is cruel, and destiny turns into an awful fate.

If only monsters stayed in nightmares.

_It's not what it seems_

_Not what you think_

_No I must be dreaming_

_It's only in my mind_

_Not in real life_

_No I must be dreaming_

I looked at Bella one last time, her pain less obvious in her unconscious state. Then I turned and sailed through the window, landing three stories down. I never once looked back as I ran into the forest, leaving all traces of civilisation behind and surrendering myself completely to the wild.


End file.
